the things I remember

Still (2013)
Still (2013)

Alienated and masked, I wake up everyday and walk the hallowed streets, the streets I dreamt of. Yet there’s been a stillness since I came here. I feel shut away from time; the evening passes, morning dawns and nothing; time has stopped for me. Unreal, it has been unreal. People walk and people talk; I listen, I smile, I answer. Disassociated, disguised, I am no one. I feel pain, I wither and die like a flower but I rise like a phoenix, and in it is misery. To be alive again and again, every new day, every new breath. Not so long ago, I danced with myself, I drew my own rainbows, I slept a peaceful sleep, I dreamt a beautiful world. And now, things are real, things are as they are and I am trapped. I keep my disguise, I walk like nothing happened, and I will keep doing it, day after day. Hopes can fade, the white can run in the rain, reveal my true face, the paint can wash away. I am left naked and bare on the stones.

Photo: Hohenzollern Castle, Bisingen, Germany. Taken in December, 2013 at Burg Hohenzollern Weihnachtsmarkt.


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