Every Love Affair

Silence (2015)
Silence (2015)

The morning light falls on my face, beams breaking their way through thin bamboo sticks. The air is heavy with the scent of a chill. Winter creeps through the daylight, winter keeps the sun hostage but today, today it comes out full even if its warmth has waned. Waking up with this realization, I know the season’s changed yet again. There’s beauty in these cold mornings, pleasure, and in this moment, there’s peace. Everything is trivial except now, the past and the future, nothing but the imagination. In this moment, I’m happy. I’m a woman in love.

I walk down the steps and I’m outside. I’m in love with the morning, and I’m in love with the Alstadt. The way the stone crumbles under my feet as I walk, the way the birds fly in a loop above my head, the way the wind whispers to me and the faded sun beckons its hello. I’m in love with the early days of winter, and I love the way the old buildings stand around me, pointing to the sky. Their windows are old and shuttered, their facade a testimony of beauty and old age. I’m in love with the old city and I’m in love with the seasons, I’m in love with the smell of fresh, warm coffee and the way it dances in the air as it tempts and it calls. I’m in love with the dance of the swans in the nearest lake, the ripple of the water and the feeling of fresh dew on my fingertips.

I walk along the winding streets, the little shops and their displays outside, the bearded and sometimes fat men who sit on a chair all day long. In our glances there’s recognition, I see them everyday and they me. Along a winding street lined with cherry blossoms now waiting patiently for next spring, there are cafes with benches sprawled side by side. A couple or two, you see there, lost in conversation, soaking the last rays of the sun because this sunlight won’t last for long. The sound of my boots echoes in the morning silence, the peace when everyone has left for work and there are just us, the ones who’ve stayed behind. It’s a beautiful day and there’s hope in everything. There’s love all around me and I’m one with it, the beauty of it is precise and simple and it brings a smile to my face. The coffee is delicious.

Little things… These are the little things, and this is my love affair, with everyday. On my walk, I remember you. The lost moments and the dreams, waking up in the morning and brewing the first pot of coffee, sprinkling it with chocolate and making those pancakes. On my walk, I remember the moments of the lost embrace, a lost touch, a love felt and a love lost. And a realization awakens, that it’s okay. For what will be dreams if they all come true and what will be love if it isn’t left unfulfilled. Little things, these are the little things and I remember, I will always remember. But this is my moment and I will shelter no pain, no. I will love the morning, and the dying sun, sit in the waves of the wind, and hear the last leaves fall. And I will wait, patiently, I will always wait for you.

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