Without a Theme

Life, flashbacks, revelations. What happens next? The night is young, the days so long, and here we stand, hand in hand. What happens next? This is right before I met you, this is right before I looked into your eyes. I saw the colors of the sky, I saw them glimmer and reflect, the sky behind me, the red and the orange, the purple and the blues, mixing together, like freshly poured acrylic. Is this the world in your eyes, is this the life I see before me, playing out, in sync, in reflection, apprehension, playing out like a movie, flashbacks and fast-forwards, hand in hand, we’re hand in hand.

I asked him softly that night, “Does it get better?” He was asleep in my arms so he didn’t hear my words, but he held me closer. I thought to myself, this must be okay, this has to be okay. Does it get better? I left the past behind; it came slowly, the acceptance. I left it all behind, reveling in the freedom as I shed off the veil, as I shed off cloth after cloth after cloth. It was wonderful to bathe in the sun as if it had never shone before, all over my skin, heat crawling in my blood. Something was happening; my life was changing, it was changing. 

Now the days are passing by so fast; barely time to breathe in the air. I’m caught in a dance, the steps, they take me from stone to stone over still waters. I’m happy here, I’m home here. Laughter, joy, belonging; I’m happy here. I ask him softly every morning, “Is it a dream?” I think to myself, this must be a dream, it has to be a dream. It’s the sound of the rain calling, it’s the chill from a broken dance, but the pieces are coming back together and I’m dancing, I’m dancing, I’m dancing on the gravel, I’m dancing in the grass, I’m laughing in the sunset, I’m sleeping under the stars, dreaming under the stars. I’m dreaming under the stars. I keep dreaming under the stars. I’m painting the story of my life, I’m writing the story of his, I’m keeping him forever, in the pages, in the words, in the mind and memory. I’m keeping him forever, I’m keeping this forever, this never-ending dance, I’m keeping this forever, the everlasting dance.

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