Category Archives: Poetry

Without a Theme

Life, flashbacks, revelations. What happens next? The night is young, the days so long, and here we stand, hand in hand. What happens next? This is right before I met you, this is right before I looked into your eyes. I saw the colors of the sky, I saw them glimmer and reflect, the sky behind me, the red and the orange, the purple and the blues, mixing together, like freshly poured acrylic. Is this the world in your eyes, is this the life I see before me, playing out, in sync, in reflection, apprehension, playing out like a movie, flashbacks and fast-forwards, hand in hand, we’re hand in hand.

I asked him softly that night, “Does it get better?” He was asleep in my arms so he didn’t hear my words, but he held me closer. I thought to myself, this must be okay, this has to be okay. Does it get better? I left the past behind; it came slowly, the acceptance. I left it all behind, reveling in the freedom as I shed off the veil, as I shed off cloth after cloth after cloth. It was wonderful to bathe in the sun as if it had never shone before, all over my skin, heat crawling in my blood. Something was happening; my life was changing, it was changing. 

Now the days are passing by so fast; barely time to breathe in the air. I’m caught in a dance, the steps, they take me from stone to stone over still waters. I’m happy here, I’m home here. Laughter, joy, belonging; I’m happy here. I ask him softly every morning, “Is it a dream?” I think to myself, this must be a dream, it has to be a dream. It’s the sound of the rain calling, it’s the chill from a broken dance, but the pieces are coming back together and I’m dancing, I’m dancing, I’m dancing on the gravel, I’m dancing in the grass, I’m laughing in the sunset, I’m sleeping under the stars, dreaming under the stars. I’m dreaming under the stars. I keep dreaming under the stars. I’m painting the story of my life, I’m writing the story of his, I’m keeping him forever, in the pages, in the words, in the mind and memory. I’m keeping him forever, I’m keeping this forever, this never-ending dance, I’m keeping this forever, the everlasting dance.

she glimpsed heaven

The savage storm
How it rocked her through
Depending on faith
And a few slats of wood
She waited for this rescue
In her dreams his face, vivid
In her dreams, she grasped
Reaching for his hands
The familiar strength
Of his fingers and the voice
Grave, yet smiling
What she would give
To hear those words
To feel him close
No fear or despair.
She lost time
Caged in this boat
With no harbor in sight
She lost time
Within this fence
Adrift on the sea
And no life support
No stars or glimpse of heaven
To guide her way
On this dark and endless night.

Love in the Dark

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I can’t love you in the dark
Things don’t seem as they are
I’m a study in reflection
Waiting, these expectations
I’m lost, did I think I was found?
I climbed to the top
I jumped, closing my eyes
I fell and it felt like forever
A wall of glass
It showed me my face
Looked into myself, hard
And found nothing staring back.
I can’t love you in the dark
I can’t love you at all
Frail, this time and age
Lies, inside and across
We are forever fenced in
And I can’t step outside
I can’t love you in the dark
And I’m sorry
I can’t love you at all.

My Sleepy World

No Second Chances (2015)
Clowns (2015)
Little girl don't cry
Don't cry, for someone
Will come to save you.
Little girl, don't cry
Don't cry, for one day
You won't bleed no more.
Little girl don't be shy
Don't be shy, because outside
Are many things, many things
That shine.
Little girl you better stop
Stop this trembling, stop
This shaking and this sighing
For outside, outside are many things
Many truths and many lies.
Little girl don't cry
Because the promise that he made
He made, was never a lie
He stayed as long as you tried. 
But night comes, it comes
So don't cry, for one day
It will all fade away
It will all fade away.

 

No Promises

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 You don't see the choices
 You don't see the tears
 Like a puppet, you played me
 And pulled my strings.
 You were my maker
 The one who saved me
 But like a puppet 
 You played me.
 And now it's dark
 And the night has fallen
 But in my mind, you smile at me
 Like the way you used to.
 And in my mind 
 You walk toward me
 But in the darkness
 You still don't see me.
 I look up, the light is behind you
 I reach up, so pull me up
 I reach up, so call me home.
 Shining through your halo
 I reach up, so call me toward you
 I reach up, so call me home.

Sunkissed

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Sunkissed, I was kissed by the sun this summer. I felt the last rays of light drown me, it was the embrace of an absent lover. I remember crying, I remember tears falling, like the rain in fall, cold and wet. I remember laughing, like the ripples in a lake, growing and growing. For the first time in a long time, I felt the force of wings that held me up and the height from which I saw the world made my eyes tear. The clouds that I used to fear, grew thinner and thinner, and the cold that kept me awake at nights, disappeared. I’d like to tell you that I loved you and a whisper in your ear, I’d like to tell you that I miss you, in a moment I no longer fear. I’d like to tell you I know you kept secrets and that I kept them too. And I’d like to tell you, I’d like to tell you, how time passed me by, so many things I didn’t say, so many things before which I fled away.

Autumn’s Daughter

I walk on dried leaves, just like I walked on water for you. I walked on water for you. I laughed in love, in love I wept and cried. A broken man plays a broken cello and in the shadow of his weeping music, I dance. Just like I danced in your arms that spring the flowers bloomed, one wonderful day the sun never set. Like two swans we waded out into the sea and the blossoming halo of a perfect sunset welcomed us. A promise it gave, a calm certainty of hope. A comfort it gave of what things lie beyond. The notes of this cello wring the pain from my heart and I remember, a trust given and a trust broken; the beauty of woven lies, resplendent in all their deception. And caught in the trap of a dying and devouring spider, glued to the silken string of an impending death, I wait.