Tag Archives: bokeh

My Sleepy World

No Second Chances (2015)
Clowns (2015)
Little girl don't cry
Don't cry, for someone
Will come to save you.
Little girl, don't cry
Don't cry, for one day
You won't bleed no more.
Little girl don't be shy
Don't be shy, because outside
Are many things, many things
That shine.
Little girl you better stop
Stop this trembling, stop
This shaking and this sighing
For outside, outside are many things
Many truths and many lies.
Little girl don't cry
Because the promise that he made
He made, was never a lie
He stayed as long as you tried. 
But night comes, it comes
So don't cry, for one day
It will all fade away
It will all fade away.



No Promises


 You don't see the choices
 You don't see the tears
 Like a puppet, you played me
 And pulled my strings.
 You were my maker
 The one who saved me
 But like a puppet 
 You played me.
 And now it's dark
 And the night has fallen
 But in my mind, you smile at me
 Like the way you used to.
 And in my mind 
 You walk toward me
 But in the darkness
 You still don't see me.
 I look up, the light is behind you
 I reach up, so pull me up
 I reach up, so call me home.
 Shining through your halo
 I reach up, so call me toward you
 I reach up, so call me home.



Sunkissed, I was kissed by the sun this summer. I felt the last rays of light drown me, it was the embrace of an absent lover. I remember crying, I remember tears falling, like the rain in fall, cold and wet. I remember laughing, like the ripples in a lake, growing and growing. For the first time in a long time, I felt the force of wings that held me up and the height from which I saw the world made my eyes tear. The clouds that I used to fear, grew thinner and thinner, and the cold that kept me awake at nights, disappeared. I’d like to tell you that I loved you and a whisper in your ear, I’d like to tell you that I miss you, in a moment I no longer fear. I’d like to tell you I know you kept secrets and that I kept them too. And I’d like to tell you, I’d like to tell you, how time passed me by, so many things I didn’t say, so many things before which I fled away.


Eternity (2014)
Eternity (2014)

“Last night I wept. I wept because the process by which I have become woman was painful. I wept because I was no longer a child with a child’s blind faith. I wept because my eyes were opened to reality….I wept because I could not believe anymore and I love to believe. I can still love passionately without believing. That means I love humanly. I wept because I have lost my pain and I am not yet accustomed to its absence.”
 Anaïs NinHenry and June: From “A Journal of Love”–The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin

Why I Like Love Stories: A Lesson from Silver Linings Playbook

I can assure you it is possible to fall in love with words. The biggest complication is finding someone to attach these words to. People say it’s typical that a woman falls for love stories. I can tell you how this best of all emotions has been taken apart by stereotypical thinking, seemingly making it lose all of it’s magic. But to be in love, and to want to see a love story as it unfolds is still the best feeling in the world. To be able to describe it in words that can be ethereal and illustrative, wondrous and unconditionally felt, is even better.

A Walk on Air (2013)
A Walk on Air (2013)

People attach all sorts of meaning to words, and sadly, some people attach none. To truly be able to understand what a person says is the greatest magic of all. Of course, this is all in relation to love stories. So the question, why I like them so much? The theme occurred to me while I was watching ‘Silver Linings Playbook’. It shows a love story which is so different from the average love story; it shows imperfect people. And it is so good to watch imperfect people in love. I am usually dominated by the idea of a ‘perfect love’, with perfect individuals, representing the pinnacles of all of human attributes, presented in the best way possible; holy, brave, humble. I can blame this on watching Disney movies while growing up; but who hasn’t fallen through this trap of conventional love at least once in their lives?

Screenshot from Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Screenshot from Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

In Silver Linings Playbook, both of our male and female protagonists are represented as flawed. Their feelings are a result of flawed actions which make them come together. Is everything a mistake or are mistakes in love just the way we see them because we want love to be so conventional all the time? It is never a story of her meeting him, ring on her finger, they lived happily ever after. The roller coaster ride of ‘getting there’ is the best part. When people are imperfect, they make mistakes. When they make mistakes, things go wrong. And the only way to prove themselves is when they make things right. That part is so amazing, proving what you can do for the people you love and what they can do for you.

The thing about love stories is that unless you’re brave enough to be in one of your own, you will never be in one. Why I like love stories is because I know they will hurt, they must hurt, otherwise it’s not worth anything. They will create storms in your life which you wished you’d never have to face and they will wake you up from the reality you are living in, just until your love story lasts. You can live inside a world where most things will seem like magic to you, where waking up in the morning will be something you want to do, where having moments of silence will be most wanted so you can let yourself relive everything all over again. And you will want to have words to immortalize your love, because there will be a time when you have it no longer but the words will never leave you.