Tag Archives: healing

Answers in the Sky

Road Trip
Road Trip (2016)

What is about the moon that’s so comforting? We look at it and our problems don’t look so big anymore. The moon tells us we’re small, small and insignificant; we take comfort in that because there is a universe out there, bigger than this. Bigger than anything we’ve ever beheld. Millions of stars shine down on us, and here we are, tucked away in what is perhaps the safest corner in the Milky Way. Last night, he told me we’re safe here. Yet light years away from us, stars burn out, planets collapse and all light disappears into absolute nothing.

There is something about that I believe, that gives us perspective. That should give us perspective. Grief comes in waves, terrors flow back and forth in the form of nightmares; there is fire in the night. And all that disappears, as fast as the wind around me when I dance, when we speed faster and faster; time slows down. We are stuck in the dance of a century; we are trapped as the moonlight washes us in innocence, there is no pleasure but simple pleasure, there is no joy but to just be full of joy. Lights, stars, touch, dreams; so close. So look up, whenever you are feeling sad, look up, whenever you are scared, look up whenever hope leaves because surely you will see hope, surely you will see life, glittering, far far away but within grasp, it’s always within grasp. Look up, whenever you are running too fast, and the past will cease to follow, and look up; whether it’s the sun that’s shining, or the moon that’s waning, or the stars that disappear one by one before sunrise. Then you’ll know you made it through, and life is waiting, waiting for you.

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Without a Theme

Life, flashbacks, revelations. What happens next? The night is young, the days so long, and here we stand, hand in hand. What happens next? This is right before I met you, this is right before I looked into your eyes. I saw the colors of the sky, I saw them glimmer and reflect, the sky behind me, the red and the orange, the purple and the blues, mixing together, like freshly poured acrylic. Is this the world in your eyes, is this the life I see before me, playing out, in sync, in reflection, apprehension, playing out like a movie, flashbacks and fast-forwards, hand in hand, we’re hand in hand.

I asked him softly that night, “Does it get better?” He was asleep in my arms so he didn’t hear my words, but he held me closer. I thought to myself, this must be okay, this has to be okay. Does it get better? I left the past behind; it came slowly, the acceptance. I left it all behind, reveling in the freedom as I shed off the veil, as I shed off cloth after cloth after cloth. It was wonderful to bathe in the sun as if it had never shone before, all over my skin, heat crawling in my blood. Something was happening; my life was changing, it was changing. 

Now the days are passing by so fast; barely time to breathe in the air. I’m caught in a dance, the steps, they take me from stone to stone over still waters. I’m happy here, I’m home here. Laughter, joy, belonging; I’m happy here. I ask him softly every morning, “Is it a dream?” I think to myself, this must be a dream, it has to be a dream. It’s the sound of the rain calling, it’s the chill from a broken dance, but the pieces are coming back together and I’m dancing, I’m dancing, I’m dancing on the gravel, I’m dancing in the grass, I’m laughing in the sunset, I’m sleeping under the stars, dreaming under the stars. I’m dreaming under the stars. I keep dreaming under the stars. I’m painting the story of my life, I’m writing the story of his, I’m keeping him forever, in the pages, in the words, in the mind and memory. I’m keeping him forever, I’m keeping this forever, this never-ending dance, I’m keeping this forever, the everlasting dance.