Tag Archives: james bond

The Spy I Loved: Roger Moore as 007

Lusting after Bond 007 is a habit many women will raise claims to. He’s both the ‘super’ and ‘human’ in superhuman. He’s also the fellow who walks out tan and built on many a beach, in many a skinsuit, or in only very little and revealing errr… Much. He can draw a gun out of thin air, he can ‘judo’ out of every tough spot and he has the backing of the government. But no matter how tight and short Daniel Craig’s swimming shorts are, Roger Moore will always be one of my favorite Bonds. For many a reason.

  • Ditzy attractions

If you take out one ‘o’ from Moore, it makes more. Moore’s the classy, suave, playboy Bond; he’s the one who wants more than just one woman at any given time; and the one who manages to attract the bimbo-Bond-girl-types- case in point, Mary Goodnight; the ditsiest of the B. gals I have yet to see. Not only does she get to spend a night in the closet, sleeping, she also almost destroys everything in sight, including Bond, when she accidentally sets off the Solex agitator by bumping into it.

  • One liners

Moore as 007 has also always made with the wisecracks, regardless of the situation- he can never be accused of being grim, even at gunpoint. Par example:

Francisco Scaramanga: Look behind you. (Bond looks behind him and doesn’t see anything) Lower. [Nick Nack is seated behind Bond with some peanuts and a gun] James Bond: A gun and a bag of peanuts, how original! What will they think of next?

  • Chivalry

Bibi Dahl’s  (For Your Eyes Only) attempts at seduction are constantly disregarded by Bond, which is saying something. He feels as though she’s too young for him, which she is. Score for Moore! He saves her life and protects her virtue. That’s chivalry.

  • Laughing in the face of death  I guess all Bonds do that.
  • The funny one

Yes, he is the funny one. He’s displayed various instances of his strong sense of humor; when he talks to the belly dancer who tries to interfere-

Belly Dancer: Ah! I’ve lost my charm! James Bond: Not from where I’m standing.

And when he lands his plane on the highway for a gas refill- no mean feat, ask the other Bonds. Even they didn’t try this one!

  • Persistent bad-guy henchmen

Can any Bond boast of better evil henchmen than Jaws (a pair of stainless metal teeth anyone?), Nick Nack, and Tee Hee (remember the hook hand?); as well as the ladies May Day and Pan Ho? Also the most aptly named ones. The answer is no.

  • Sultriest Bond ladies

As long as we’re on the subject of names… Moore’s 007 doesn’t only have exotic names for his enemies, no sir. His ladies too have been given their due share in exotic-uh-ism. Care to hazard a guess, anyone? I thought not. Let me enlighten you.

Octopussy (ahem) in uh… Octopussy (1983)

Mary Goodnight in The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Solitaire in Live and Let Die (1973)

Andrea Anders  in the Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Yes, it’s true. He’s scored with these ladies. He had the longest run of the Bond movies and his portrayal was very close to the real Bond. He had class and optimism, he was condescending and a bit of a know-it-all. And that’s the way Bond is supposed to be, right?

Cheesy Dialog in Contemporary Film

I wish they had had better conversations.
1. James Bond & Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale (2006)
Vesper: Now, having just met you, I wouldn’t go as far as calling you a cold-hearted bastard…
Bond: No, of course not.
Vesper: But it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine. You think of women as disposable pleasures rather than meaningful pursuits. So, as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government’s money and off your perfectly formed arse.
Bond: You noticed.
Vesper: Even accountants have imagination. How was your lamb?
Bond: Skewered. One sympathizes.
2. Bella Swan & Edward Cullen in Twilight (2008)
Edward Cullen: I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me what you’re thinking.
Bella Swan: Now I’m afraid.
Edward Cullen: Good.
Bella Swan: I’m not afraid of you, I’m only afraid of losing you. I feel like you’re gonna disappear.
Edward Cullen: You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you. And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Bella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.
3. King Leonidas & Persian Messenger in 300 (2007)
Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king.
King Leonidas: Earth and water?
Messenger: Madman! You’re a madman!
King Leonidas: Earth and water? You’ll find plenty of both down there.
Messenger: No man, Persian or Greek, no man threatens a messenger!
King Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness…? This is Sparta!
4. Dimitri & Vladimir in Anastasia (1997)
Dimitri: No, no. No, you don’t know. I was the boy in the palace. The one who opened the wall. She’s the real thing, Vlad.
Vladimir: That means our Anya has found her family. We have found the heir to the Russian throne. And you…
Dimitri: Will walk out of her life forever.
Vladimir: But…
Dimitri: Princesses don’t marry kitchen boys.
5. Wolverine & Cyclops in X-Men (2000)
Wolverine: Hey, hey- it’s me!
Cyclops: Prove it.
Wolverine: You’re a dick.
Cyclops: Okay.